My Ass is SORE!
I brought up my bike from the basement yesterday – Sunday 2008.09.07. It’s been down there forever. My ex and I got our bikes just before we got married. I don’t know what we were thinking. Fitness? Yeah right. I was not taking good care of myself in those days. To become scenic tourists? Whatever. I don’t remember.
One year, I even went out and got a bunch of goodies for mine. Lights for at night, a rear view mirror (that sucks), a new seat that was supposedly gonna be comfortable, and even a trip computer! Cool little thing. Displays your speed, but also can show you trip miles, total miles, average speed, and probably the barometric pressure in Beijing, China.
So I dusted it off, cobwebs and all. Yes, there were a couple of those. It was kept in the basement, remember. That’s where I keep our pet spiders. But I digress. So yeah, slightly less dirty now, I also pumped up the tires. My tire pump sucks, too. It’s small and, well, probably not cheap. Something you should be able to attach to the bike and take along in case you live near the tack factory. But it’s little fold out piece that you’re supposed to step on for stability while you pump broke off years ago while trying to inflate the snowblower’s tires. And the pressure gauge is whack. On the one hand, it’s got this little flip out mirror so you can read the thing while you frantically pump away. But also, it’s about as small as a Cracker Jack compass and impossible to read without the mirror since it’s printed backward so the only way you can read it is in a mirror. Mainly though, it’s just busted. The pressure jumps up to the “your tire is flat” position on the dial the first time you pump, then it really doesn’t move from there. So I went by how the tire felt. Of course, that means that it’s way over inflated and I’m just a tack away from an explosion heard in Albuquerque.
This bike has, like, 189 speeds. Okay 21 – I counted sprockets. It has gear shifters on both sides of the handlebars. As I set out down the newly paved street in front of my house, I had to spend some time remembering how to shift the damn thing. You know, like which way made it harder or easier to peddle. Good to know. All it lacks to have the full complexity of an 18-wheeler is a backup beeper. Hmm. Bet I could find one of those somewhere, too. I also had to learn – the hard way – not to shift too fast on the front gears else the chain will come flying off the sprocket. So I got to reacquaint myself with resetting a chain and just how oily they are.
Beyond all the pre-ride bumpiness, the actual ride itself was awesome! You can really go A LOT farther on a bike in the same amount of time as you’d get going for a walk, lol. Before I knew it, I was over at our recently opened Costco store where I learned from a manager hanging out in the parking lot that it costs $50/year to be a member. They have a gas station where you can buy gas for, well, less than at the PDQ. Might be worth the price of membership right there! Anyway he invited me back to shop the store without buying anything to compare to Sam’s where I already have a membership. I’ll do that, but in the mean time it was back to the ride.
Costco is at the southern edge of a vast network of biking and hiking trails that exist along Airport road on the west side of Middleton. It took almost no time at all to get to the trail from my house, and then before I knew it, I was way out by Capitol Ice, our indoor ice skating place. I had no idea the trails went all the way out there! I explored all the little branch trails, too. I was facinated to find out where all these trails led!
After turning around at Capitol Ice, I basically just headed straight home. The odometer read a total mileage for the trip of 7.3 miles. Not bad for a first jaunt. Wonder how many calories that equates to? I rode the bike all the way around back of the house and up to the steps on my back deck. Hopped off, grabbed the bike to carry it up the stairs, and took that first step. Holy crap, what happened to my legs! I about landed right on my face! Sea legs from a bike? OMG. It wasn’t that bad, and mostly it was just climbing stairs, but it was just really surprising.
And yes, I knew what I was in for the next morning – which it is right now as I type. SORE ASS BONES.
Ouch! Can no one come up with a seat that doesn’t do that to your ass? We can drop robots safely onto Mars (sometimes,) but can’t figure out how to cushion the newbie bike rider’s ass.