Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  ~ Marianne Williamson

Sometimes I feel so lost in the big picture.  I forget that the whole is made up of lots of parts.  Even those parts are made up of smaller ones.  But it becomes overwhelming and frustrating to become so blinded by the the great light shining there so brilliantly.  The point is that there is a great light shining there so brilliantly.

Faith is something that doesn’t always come so easily.  I want it all, and I wonder why I don’t have it yet.  On the one hand, I look at the past few years and see so many things that have slipped right through my fingers without so much as a remotely understandable explanation.  Yet other things have seemed to work just perfectly.

I usually run around thinking I need to step back and look at the bigger picture.  Maybe in doing so, I think to myself, I’ll regain perspective I’ve lost by attending to all the little details.  What if I have it all backwards?  If I allow myself the confidence to manifest the greatness that exists in me by design, then I automatically gain the faith that I am attending to all that I need to in this moment.  The brilliant light I’m generating exists regardless, but can only shine if I accept and channel the awesome power I possess.

It also seems that I get these flashes of inspiration precisely when I need them.  I’ve been despondent over what I perceive as a general failure to “get it.”  I escaped over lunch to my TiVo and the recording of the movie Akeelah and the Bee it caught for me.  This movie is about sooooo much more than a spelling bee.  If you have not seen it, you must!  The opening quote of this post is from the movie.

Don’t be afraid of you. Rock whatever dream you have.  Rock it hard, and let it make you great!

My daughter and commented on that on the ride home.  Previous episodes center around biblical or spiritual pursuits – The Holy Grail, the Arc of the Covenant, sacred Indian stones…  This episode has a different twist and an entirely new cast of villains.

The theater was packed.  Sold out, or really close to it.  We usually make our way to the center of the upper rows of seats, but not this time.  The center section was well filled out by the time we had gotten our popcorn and Skittles.  But the show was playing on the “Ultrascreen” so even the side sections have an amazing view.  A big audience always amplifies the funny or exciting parts too, adding to the thrill and fun of it all.

As usual, I ate way too much popcorn and will need to forgo eating for the next week, but this time anyway, it turned out to be a pretty good trade off – high adventure for extreme caloric binging.  lol.  Good thing the home Gym is up and running again after the basement has dried out.

Well for the third morning in a row, my internet radio station, Girls Rock Radio, started buffering badly (sorry, that’s geek speak for stuttering) and this time it showed no sign of letting up.  Later I was to learn that there was a major fiber optic cable cut down in Chicago that messed up internet access for the entire upper midwest.

Frustrated, I just felt like escaping it all for a while.  What with the money just pouring in these days (L.O.A. , I figured I deserved the get away.  Now, my daughter saw Maid of Honor on Mothers’ Day with her Mom.  I wanted to see it, too, but since they went together, I was left to find another way.  Voila.

I was left wanting more.

It’s a timeless tale (not giving anything away here) of a boy and a girl.  Girl finds another guy to marry, and boy suddenly realizes he can’t live without her.  The previews looked pretty funny.  And the flick was funny!  I really do recommend it.  Lots of it filmed in stunning locations in Scotland.  Michelle Monaghan is really very lovely, and they couldn’t have picked a better male lead than Patrick Dempsey what with his “McDreamy” persona from Grey’s Anatomy.  It all just worked.

And yet I was left wanting more.  Not from the film – it was brilliant – but rather from my own real life!